Monday, July 19, 2010

Ridiculously hot women...

...should not be allowed to roam the streets freely, making the rest of us look and feel bad.

Why can't they just confine themselves to the fantasy world of movies, magazines, reality shows or whatever, where you can have at least a little window for skeptism i.e. she's been photoshopped, it's a body double, ahh.. definitely plastic surgery!

But, when one of these women escape the fantasy world and wonder into your reality, it just makes you question all of god's fairness. See, why on earth was she created with such flawless skin, smooth as alabaster, when your own breaks out every month close to your period. Why does she get hair that is so long and thick and luscious when your own only grows to a certain length and then starts splitting at the end. To top it, you think you might be suffering from premature balding because everytime you wash your hair, the amount of hair that drops from your head after you've applied your conditioner is so not funny and ends up clogging your drain.

You've always thought you have pretty eyes. Received a nice compliment or two on them. But they're nothing compared to her middle-eastern, kohl-rimmed, cat eyed perfection. Her nose is small, straight and perfect whereas yours has a little bump on it because clumsy you ran straight into a tree when you were eleven when you thought a dog was chasing you.

Generally, you like your body. Never had much issues with it except maybe your boobs may be shrinking because the strapless bra that fit you just nice last month feels as though they're dropping off when you wear them now. But she. Oh my god she... has a body that is made for men to drool, salivate, slobber over. She's not the skinny, model-ly type. Instead she has an impeccable ass that seems to defy gravity, boobs which are big and perky enough to fill out a tube dress without looking as though they require a bra to help hold them up and then tops that with a ridiculously tiny waist.

Your wardrobe is a decent mix of work and party clothes which you like but nothing jaw dropping, nothing that would make a man stop and stare on the street. Your clothes make you feel comfortable and look nice enough to maybe fetch an admiring glance or two. Her's on the other hand is downright show-stopping, doesn't seem to matter whether she's just hanging out with her friends on what looks like a casual saturday or hitting the club. And she wears them with this fiesty arrogance that screams 'I know I'm hot. And I know you bloody well think so too!'.

Aah. Its disgusting how insecure and jealous she makes you feel. But you can't help it, especially since you find out the guy you went on this really nice date with, whom you actually liked, is now dating her instead. So, you do the only thing you can do to make yourself feel a little better... console yourself by telling yourself she probably is stupid, has bad English and he is only dating her for her looks!


Snafugirl said...

And she probably has a loose vag. There. All better :)

lady gay-gay said...

Haha Snaf!!

Little Miss... I'm right there with you. Let's kill the bitch!!

Being Samiantha said...

Ugh. I have one or two friends like this. I'll never been seen in public with them due to that no one would ever see me anyways.

Aside from their perfection and overly super duper sweet to everyone they meet (gag me) They are incapable of keeping a man. Yes I said it.

They are single for a reason.

Mark my words (is that still a saying?) Your ex date will be back on the market again soon, when he realizes she may be ridiculously gorgous but there is something flawed with her that out weighs her seemingly perfection.

When they are no longer dating (sooner than later) you can smile and mutter under your breath, "I told you so". :)

Amanda said...

Ugh to the hair comment. I lost a majority of my hair when I hit puberty. Sometimes I just want to rip out their hair and sew it on to my head.

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Oh no! I was just waiting for something and that last part just sucker-punched me :( I like Snaf's idea ;) Because no one can be perfect. So a loose vag it is! *giggles*

Ken said...

They make men feel bad about themselves too.

Boo to hot people!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

I am one of those fat girls that more often then not end up being close buddies with women like this. Seriously.

Best friend from high school grew up to become this gorgeous Punjabi Goddess.

Close friend from college was 5'11, model and winner of my country's CLEO Magazine most beautiful woman of the year, 2009.

The current close friend have that exotic South East Asian look that all the guys go for.

I hang out with them and I envy them but I don't hate them cause just like how one of your commenters said, they never seem to be able to keep a man.

So I guess, even the gorgeous ones have issues just like us mere mortals.

little miss angry said...

snaf - you definitely know how to make a girl feel better :0

lady gay-gay - yes, please! lets!!

being samiantha - i'll wait for the day i can say those words (but you know how stupid men can be sometimes). but anyway, till then, i shall just believe what snaf said :)

amanda - argghh! and i freaking hate a clogged drain, don't you??

30ty - i LOVE snaf's idea! :)

ken - lol. so they do! so its a win-win if only they'd just steer clear off our streets!! come, lets booo them off!

the constantly dramatic one - hi! so this punjabi goddess, cleo model and exotic asian.. did they also have bad english? did they? did they?? ;)

Jassy said...

I agree with you, hands down

Matt79 said...

I often feel self-conscious and awakward around unreasonably good-looking women too - there's one at work and I just end up avoiding her some of the time!

jo said...

oh man that sucks. i still like to think god is fair so yes, stupid, bad english and a loose vag it is haha!

little miss angry said...

jassy - :)

matt - lol. and here i thought men loved them!

jo - haha. glad to see you agree!