After subscribing to Match.com, I had two dates planned over the weekend but one got rescheduled to this Thursday. So this is the story of how my date numero uno went with... (introducing) Mr. Cricket.
A good start...
Mr. Cricket sends me a message that is funny enough to make me respond although he isn't that much of a looker in his photos. He’s 39 and supposedly fit so hey, what the hell I thought. Fast forward a few emails, he gives me his number and says 'call me or message me if you're brave enough'. Before I can respond, he sends me this email...
'By the way...if you prefer that I call you, please give me your number and let me make the 1st move. After thinking about it, I thought that it was unfair of me to expect you to call when I really should be the one to call you. Until then, take care and have a great week ahead Miss Angry.'
Not bad I think, so I text him and we set the time and date for our little date. He doesn't mind meeting for lunch, coffee or dinner and asks me to choose. I pick coffee (duh!).
I get lazy…
I'd nothing much to do on Saturday, so I pop in a dvd and start on some housework. Before long, I abandon all attempts to clean my apartment and sit glued in front of the TV because the dvd I popped was Spartacus - Blood and Sand, a glorious galore of gorgeous men with the most beautiful bodies and as little cloth to cover it as possible.
So when the time comes for me to get ready for the date, I'm actually reluctant to switch off the dvd player. I start coming up with excuses to cancel in my head…then catch myself and scold myself into getting ready.
I arrive on time for the date. Its really hot outside, so I'd chosen to wear a yellow, sleeveless, floral top paired with capri pants and sandals. I wait under some shade in front of Starbucks and check the time. He's eight minutes late. Slightly annoyed, I start typing him a text when my phone rings. Its him. I tell him I'm at Starbucks and he says he’ll meet me there. I wait and soon I see a guy walking purposefully toward me.
The first thing that strikes me as he reaches me: he's dressed all wrong. At temperatures of 36 degrees no less, he's wearing something that looks like a cross between a sweater and a long sleeve shirt tucked into jeans. Uh-oh.
He shakes my hand. Its sweaty and sticky. I notice he looks rounder than his profile pictures. Also, he's bald and I can see the sweat glistening on his shiny, bald head. I'm glad he doesn't move to hug me.
It gets worse…
I decide I need some alcohol to get through this although its only 5pm on a Saturday. So, we go to this little air-conditioned bar and I order margaritas and he has himself a long island iced tea.
I notice he is staring at me a lot. And I think I may have snot in my nose or something. I self-consciously look away and wonder if I should dash to the washroom to check.
Then he says ‘You’re gorgeous. Just like in your pictures’.
‘Why, thank you’ I say. But I really can’t bring myself to return the compliment because honestly, he looked better in the pictures.
The drinks come, and we talk about each others work, always a great conversation starter and I can see he loves what he does for a living as he delves into the details. I’m spacing out when we switch to family and some general stuff like what we love doing in our past time. He talks about cricket with a passion and tells me how he loves the game. I can’t relate. But you can see why he got the name.
Finally, the deal breaker…
I generally don’t talk about exes or past loves on a first date (even on 2nd or 3rds) because seriously, its just bad dating etiquette. Vague remarks or funny one-liners are okay but nothing more than that. But this guy, wow, this guy had no qualms telling me all about his love history starting from the first girl he dated whom his parents did not want to let him marry, to the girl he finally married. And subsequently divorced. And how he was so bitter and angry after the divorce. And how he met this girl from China soon after the divorce and he dated her for 6 months although the girl did not speak any English and he did not speak any Chinese.
I'm like what the fuck?
So, I ask him how he managed 6 months with someone without any verbal communication? He says with a glint in his eye, that they communicated physically and then adds… also with their hands.
He probably catches the look of disbelieve (or disgust) on my face and moves to back track. Saying that she was really wonderful and that she really knew how to treat a man. Cook for him and clean for him. In fact, after a long days work when he came to pick her up, she would give him gentle massages in the car, rubbing his shoulders and ahem certain other parts. I don't ask for details.
The poor man doesn’t realize he's making it worse with every additional sentence he continues talking about this relationship. When I, as casually as I can, ask him, why they broke up?
His response... ‘I wasn’t ready for a commitment…’
I look at him incredulously. That was the reason? Not the fact that they could not talk to each other?
I keep all thought to myself and just smile at him.
Seriously, I think he’s free to enjoy whatever relationship he wishes. BUT my mind had shut off at this point from this date…AND worse was drifting back to Spartacus. I’d rather (in fact couldn’t wait to) get back and watch my TV show than sit with this guy and talk somemore.
I make a move to leave after our first (and only) drink finishes. He actually looks disappointed and says he was hoping this would turn to dinner. I politely decline. When I get home I receive this text from him…
‘Hi Miss Angry, tat was one of the nicest dates I hav been on. I like that u can meet my gaze ;)’