I was at the pharmacy the other day to pick up some condoms before heading over to Mr. P’s place. The last time I was at his place, we were going at it but had to stop because he didn’t have condoms. So I wanted to be prepared this time, just in case. I picked up a colourful red box which said tingling, warm sensations, thinking that must feel very nice. How very creative of them to think up such condoms. I walked to the counter, paid for it and headed off.
At his place, after the 2nd glass of wine, we were all over each other and rushed to his room to finally have great, fantastic sex. He said he still didn’t have condoms and even in my horny state, I wondered how come I thought about it but he hadn’t. But no matter, luckily I was prepared, I thought. It was dark in his room and I had to scramble for the box in my purse. It was killing the moment a little. He had gotten up to search his underwear drawer to see if he had a spare packet he had forgotten about. Both of us scrambling in the dark and I was the first to find it. Giving a triumphant squeal, I peeled the box and waved the tiny packet in his face.
He took it from me, ripped it and said.. “What the fuck?”
“Why?” I asked.
Somehow, noticing the look on his face in the dark, I grabbed the packet from his hand and felt something soft and squishy in my hands. I said out loud.. “The condom melted.”
“Its lube, idiot!”
How in the world had I gotten mixed up with lube and condoms? I blame the packaging. They looked exactly the same.
Mr. P was sweet about it though. Teased me about it the next morning when in the bright, still in bed, I picked up the box and read the label where it was unmistakably stated.. tingling, warm sensation lubricant.
I turned and looked at him, purple in the face. He laughed and hugged me saying, "Don’t worry, we’ll find some use for that too.”
I shut my eyes, pretending not to hear, snuggled up closer to him smiling.